It might seem I've forgotten about this blog. Well, recently I had good reason to remember it! Early in February, I, like a number of friends and family members, contracted the Omicron variant of Covid. (At least, I assume that's the variant!) I don't know if I contracted it from my dad (who also had Covid) or on my trip to New Orleans (where the food was absolutely incredible and would make anyone feel grateful for it... every restaurant, no matter the style of food, was excellent.)
Luckily, I'm vaccinated and boosted, and the symptoms were no worse than a bad cold or a mild flu. I took a 1/2 day off of work and was able to continue working from home for the rest of it. I still found ways to connect and socialize and enjoy life.
But one symptom didn't escape me: losing my sense of smell. As I type, I'm still recovering. It's been about 10 days since my smell vanished completely. On one hand, it just kinda felt odd. No bad smells OR good smells. I made chocolate chip pancakes for my son that morning and... nothing. Normally I relish the sensation that pervades the whole downstairs with the fried dough smell. Instead, a stolen chocolate chip just tasted like wax.
The worst part of it was how minor it seemed. I was able to function in pretty much every other way. Even to myself, it felt like so much whining in a world where people are dying or having more debilitating long-term effects from Covid.
But I also realized that smell is so very important to all the pleasures in life, especially with food. Even bad smells matter in the full experience of life (How weird not really knowing if I needed a shower... don't worry! I took daily showers anyway.) I felt emotionally disconnected somehow.
Being a congenital over-worrier, I started to imagine the scenario in which I would never regain my sense of smell. It felt completely dreadful. I made a point to more deeply focus on the things that I could taste (chili and peanut butter were still fine for some reason), and then to keep eating the things I know I liked that I couldn't taste. I knew that the loss of smell from Covid is likely related to nerve damage, or nerve-supporting cells in the nose. I also knew (thanks random college neuroscience class!) that brain/nerve mapping was important to continue being able to distinguish scents. So it was worth trying... kinda like yelling into a barely working phone so that you can stay connected to someone.
During all this worrying, I also felt very glad for the times that I DID savor the foods I ate (and other smells of life). Almost like meta-gratitude for having felt thankful in the past. Luckily for me, I had more reasons to feel grateful as I slowly, slowly re-gained a little bit of smell each day. I made a habit of going through all the spices and such in my pantry and fridge. Cinnamon yes, sage no, vanilla yes, ginger no. Often, what I could newly smell was very faint, like just a memory of a smell. Each time I discovered a re-gained a scent was a feeling of true joy. And oddly, a re-connection to emotions that sometimes felt overwhelming. Cilantro had been a long hold-out, which was upsetting because I absolutely LOVE cilantro. Last night I splurged on a little plant of it in soil. I took it home and tore off a leaf, washed it carefully and stuck it right in my mouth and chewed. And there it was... that familiar scent. Amazing!
So I still have a ways to go (being outdoors still smells really weird, like burning vinegar or something), but I have been re-acquainted with the notion to savor the things of every day. Savor life! I'm looking forward with hope to smelling the spring air. And I'm looking forward to more adventures, travels, music, people, and delicious foods! Give thanks for our sense of smell. Let us never take it for granted!
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